Ignorance vs awareness - by Alicia Kapa
Living with a disability has many challenges. These can be made harder or easier with how people react and treat you. Ignorance vs awareness is very easy to recognise and I am going to share some of my experiences throughout my life that will always stand out.
First ignorance, I’m not referring to rude ignorance but possibly the lack of knowledge or exposure to the disability world. Staring is very common and most times doesn’t bother me because it’s mostly young children and to me, that’s ok because they don’t know any different. But from 10 years and older it starts to bother me a little, it’s like "what? have you never seen a wheelchair before?” The next thing that I often get which is more common than you think is not getting my own menu at restaurants. I have turned it into a joke and say well obviously I don’t eat! It is another thing that it will just be a lack of knowledge but still makes me feel sad. People talking to the person I’m with rather than me, I really don’t like that at all but I will share a funny story that I’ll always remember. I was walking in a mall one day in my walker and this guy came up to the person I was with and starts talking about how I should be walking without "all this". Maybe he just hadn’t seen a walker before or maybe he meant something else but he came across as very ignorant. The person who I was with obviously pushed back and told him that I could actually understand him and he walked away after that. I think that was funny and probably laughed afterwards for a while.
Luckily not everyone is ignorant and I have had a lot of instances where people have done things without being asked. Waiters have given me a teaspoon rather than a knife and fork and sometimes placed it in front of the person who was with me. The first time I was at a restaurant in Auckland with my parents and I was so surprised and taken back. I was like surely he knows someone similar because I have never gotten a teaspoon without asking. I will always remember the first time I ordered my own meal and drink, I was at work at a restaurant. I had my iPad and headwand on to communicate with people and I was looking at the menu. When it was my turn to order my drink and food the waitress came over and held up the drink menu so I could point to what I wanted as well as the food. I remember the feeling of utter happiness and excitement about doing it myself for the first time in my entire life. I messaged my mum and told her because I was just so happy. To most people, it sounds weird being able to order yourself but for someone who cannot talk and is constantly dealing with people who don’t know, the first time in 24 years is very exciting.
I’ve had a guy stop when my wheelchair decided to stop in the road and was very patient while I told him my phone password and how to call someone (he deserves a medal for that). Many people have made my coffees I have gotten a little cooler without being asked because I can’t have hot stuff. I’ve had a guy at a shop understand me saying my number is better than my carer (I had a slight crush afterwards haha). I’m sure there are many others but those are ones that I will always remember.
The moral of the story is be open minded and considerate to all people. Sure, people may not know how to interact with someone who is different but if they treat them like they are no different, they could bring a lot of joy.
About the author:
I am a born and raised young New Zealand Māori woman. I was born with cerebral palsy which affects my muscles but not my mind. I am just like any other young person who has dreams, and aspirations and enjoys having fun. I am in my fourth year at the University of Auckland studying Criminology and Māori Studies with dreams of one day working in the justice system. I have a YouTube channel called Wheely Wacky Adventures where my friend Leah and I share videos of our adventures such as skydiving and bungy jumping just to name a couple. I am full of life and ready to take on what comes for me.
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